Are you familiar with what in manga and anime is called a Death Flag? Because he just raised one.
The exchange between Dosi and Mystery Man was needed. You can only string readers along so much. Better yet, John/Joe talked without saying anything at all. The fact that Dosi was immediately told to "go write your reports" is a trope I've used in some of my stories ("An army may move on its stomach but it lives on paperwork," Sgt. Konev thought, writing his second report for the evening).
Depending on how big this gets (short story? massive novel?) you may consider a map (do they have to go to CERN?) and a Cast of Characters, as Colleen McCullough did early on in her Masters of Rome books, until the reader-base sorted out who was who.
Speaking of, in my quiet, boring "bedroom community" in central Ohio, walked out this AM to cop cars everywhere. Neighbor two doors down in a USD500k house blew his brains out. His mother found the body; that's just poor form.
While I could see John/Joe just disintigrating someone, I can also imagine him doing something(s) horrid, too.
"Everything was perfect."
Are you familiar with what in manga and anime is called a Death Flag? Because he just raised one.
The exchange between Dosi and Mystery Man was needed. You can only string readers along so much. Better yet, John/Joe talked without saying anything at all. The fact that Dosi was immediately told to "go write your reports" is a trope I've used in some of my stories ("An army may move on its stomach but it lives on paperwork," Sgt. Konev thought, writing his second report for the evening).
Depending on how big this gets (short story? massive novel?) you may consider a map (do they have to go to CERN?) and a Cast of Characters, as Colleen McCullough did early on in her Masters of Rome books, until the reader-base sorted out who was who.
Indeed, after a fake end of story, raising a death flag was necessary.
Speaking of, in my quiet, boring "bedroom community" in central Ohio, walked out this AM to cop cars everywhere. Neighbor two doors down in a USD500k house blew his brains out. His mother found the body; that's just poor form.
While I could see John/Joe just disintigrating someone, I can also imagine him doing something(s) horrid, too.
Thought you were in Texas.
Born there. Lived in half of the US States. All I want now is Uncle Ted K's old cabin in Montana so I can write books.